Starting out on a new relationship can be absolutely awesome. There are these looming questions however about sex, such as what can I say about sex? When should we have sex? And so on and so on. For most, sex is interlinked with relationships and dating… well unless you believe sex should occur only between the bounds of marriage. Sex can be the ultimate form of intimacy or merely an initial test of compatibility; it is completely dependent on the individuals involved. There are a few guidelines that can be followed in the first stages of dating to makes these questions that little less daunting.
Sexual compatibility can be a crucial element for many. If the relationship continues into a more permanent and long term arrangement there is a need there to feel stimulated by your partner and vice versa. It should be noted early on in a relationship men enjoy the chase and the longer the cat and mouse game goes on, the greater the likelihood you will win the man’s heart and respect. There is a limit however - too long and he may begin feeling paranoid or resentful that you want to abstain from sex so be conscious of that. For the guys, if sex isn’t all you want out of the relationship talk to her about things that will make her feel important rather than prematurely putting an emphasis on sex. Discuss her likes, dislikes, her future goals, your common interests and make her feel like you enjoy her company and her overall personality.
Discretion is key if you do discuss sex with your potential love match. It should go without saying you should retain some mystery and not converse about sex on the first few dates. The sexual history conversation is a big no no. You can divulge that information once you have a firm and solid relationship as you don’t want to scare each other off by talking about sex with your exes straight away, if at all.
Some other basic points you may want to consider;
- Many times sex on the first date does not equate to a long term relationship.
- Sex is generally important so be aware it will be discussed or become an issue eventually.
- Be sexy, just because you don’t want to jump in the sack straight away doesn’t mean you can’t show how charismatic and gorgeous you are.
- Kissing will not necessarily be an invitation for sex. Kissing is kissing unless stated otherwise.
- When you do decide to have sex make sure it is a place where you feel most comfortable.
- Safe sex should be practiced (RHP fully condones it).
- If you have bad sex the first time, don’t totally write the person off. Work your way up to better sex.
- Compromising is important, if the other party is selfish in their sexual needs you could let them know in an appropriate manner
If you have yet to find someone for your next date, you can hit the chat rooms or even search through RedHotPie’s Datefinder. Take note of these tips for when you do match up with someone as they will help you be well prepared to tackle the subject of dating and sex.
www.redhotpie.com.au